• Jennifer Bonner

A Break I Never Would Have Taken

This is not a vacation. I know that. This is a global pandemic. People are very sick. People are dying. It is a terrifying time. And I am just as scared as the next person. Truly.

But how do we get through this? Without the fear overcoming us daily.

I'm an actor and host. I have lost all of my work, because there is no work to be had. No auditions. No filming. Everything has stopped. I know SO many people that are in the same situation I am in, and while our choice of career has trained us for being "in between", the uncertainty of whether or not the industry will bounce back...that's where the fear kicks in.

So, what do you do? When the news is dire (except for John Krasinski's GOOD NEWS, which I highly recommend if you haven't watched) and the future completely uncertain. What do you do?

I am no expert. But I am blessed with something genetically and through many years of work, and that is optimism.

For my musical theatre fans, a brief sidenote: "I hear the human race Is fallin' on its face And hasn't very far to go, But ev'ry whippoorwill Is sellin' me a bill, And tellin' me it just ain't so..."

We've been here before. We've been in worst situations before. All of us. Collectively or indvidually. We are not at war, although I know the casualties speak otherwise. But we WILL get to the other side of this. I'm sorry. I'm an optimist.

So, what do you do? Learn a new skill? Read? Take up a hobby you have been wanting to try but never had the time. Maybe, what you did today, was get out of bed. Because I know we are not all built the way I am. I do know that. And I have bad days too. So I feel for you. And you know what? That is enough. YOU are enough.

We all don't have to be Wonder Woman (I know, ME, saying that!) But you DO need to be there for yourself. What does your soul need right now?

For me, so much of who I am was defined by work. I LOVE my work. I have worked for years to build a life I don't need to take a vacation from. But before that, I was running. Running from demons and things I didn't want to face. I filled my time with work because it was better than my reality. I was scared.

But I took the time. Time to sit with the comfortability of my emotions. My demons. My hurt. My frustration. And right now, there is a lot of that. Try not to run from it. Feel what you need too. I am not a doctor, but I can tell you that it has made me stronger in the long run to do this. It has made me a better person. It's made me a little more invincible. I don't have a formula. Journaling helped me. Crying. Sitting in silence and breathing. Meditation. Even working out became some me time as opposed to torture. So, take this break, for those of you that have it (and love and gratitude to all our essential workers- I COULD NOT do what you are doing, and I want you ALL to know that). Take it. The break you never would have given yourself. The love and time that you don't give yourself. And come out on the other side of this. Or the other side of the bed with one thing in common. More love. For ourselves. For the ones lost. For the ones that fought. For each other. And take that back with us as we move forward.

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